Mom Hacks (The Kind You Will Actually Use)

Little Man destroying a deck of cards that he wasn't supposed to have. But he was really quiet for like 20 minutes. Best $1 spot purchase ever!

     I know you love your kids. You just adore them. Their squishy little faces, drooly smiles, sloppy kisses, and bear hugs. But every once in a while you just need 10 minutes of peace and quiet. Maybe you need to go to the bathroom alone, or pay some bills online, or make an important phone call, or you just need a second to regroup and remind yourself that you really do love these little sticky fingered, loud, rambuctious, mess makers. When you need a few minutes to yourself, try these hacks for distracting your littles. They aren't cultured, sophisticated, Pinterest worthy, educational or deep. And they might even border on trickery, but THEY WORK.
  • Leave out a box of Band-Aids. The whole box costs like 97¢. They will spend at least 15 minutes occupied very quietly since they normally aren't allowed to have such things and they don't want you to know what they are doing. Opening each one, unpeeling the tabs, and sticking them on something or someone takes a good while. Hey! Working on fine motor skills here! Also even though they aren't stickers does this count as a craft?
  • Give them a package of baby wipes and tell them they can clean anything in the room (ALERT: Do not do this in a room where you care about anything being smudgy). Everything from three feet down will be smeary but they will be totally into it. And you get a better-than-nothing dust job out of it.
  • Ask them to drive cars, trains, trucks, or tractors on your back. Free massage.
  • Ask them to make a grocery list for you. Even if they can't spell yet. They'll be so busy checking the fridge and pantry and scribbling down or drawing pictures of things you never buy for them, ie: Cocoa Puffs, that you'll get a solid 10 min. FYI: Make sure that you assure them beforehand that you do not intend to buy it all or you might have an interesting trip to the store.
  • Pile all the couch pillows and a sheet or two on the living room floor and let them make a fort. Sometimes you can get a good 10-15 minutes out of that before you hear the squalls that somebody is wrecking the fort, hogging the fort, making the fort wrong, or tooting in the fort.
     Use the items on this list wisely and sparingly. If you use them too often the littles will catch on to our game. They will no longer be amused by such insignificant things and it will be back to no quiet EVER. Go forth in knowledge and peace good woman.